Aren’t I complicated

Women are said to be complex, hard to understand and insinuating. They say something else they mean which only leads to wrong interpretations, irritation and arguments. I also get irritated by that. And this attitude makes me often feel myself outsider even within women. I sometimes unload my irritation by actin that I don’t understand what my female friends are trying to say with their hints. That way I’m trying to force them to say clearly what they mean.  Maybe I’m naturally quite frank but I know I've consciously taught myself to act that way ever since I realized that life itself really is complicated.  Why on earth I would add difficulties by being complex?

Few examples.

I met a man. Men are known to be clear and straightforward on what they say and do. To be as clear I told the man my opinion about our acquaintance. I answered to the unasked question to avoid possible misunderstandings. He was shocked, a bit offended. I apologized. He assured that he would also say clearly what he means if needed. He didn't. He acted. Again I tried to be clear and as a result we had a debate. Eventually I heard myself making up something conciliating and conventional to calm things down.

I met another man. He made a request to ask me something, but then also said that I shouldn't yet answer anything to the request. Only to the question itself after he would ask it. So I didn't say anything. He made the request twice and twice I waited for the question without answering, thought I knew what the question was about. A while after the third request, I also got the question. I happened today. Haven’t answered yet.

I consider myself a practical and direct person. At least I would like to be. But that also seems to be a problem. And when trying to get rid of them I just seem to be creating new ones.

I've thought that communication is about understanding the messages. Question, answer, understanding.

I’m not dumb. I can see the hidden meanings and hints. It’s about playing the game, testing and investigating.  But what if I don’t want to participate? Am I naturally left out of the field? 

Aren't I complicated enough so that someone could get to know me? 

Or do I just play my own game by asking straightly what the counter sides strategy is?  

Maybe I am a player after all. Just not so sure about the rules. If they exist.

And obeying them…. That’s a whole other thing.

And now I have an answer to give.